Porque Sí
“Porque sí,” is one of the single most hilarious things my girls say. It’s a response that works for any questioning of their motives. “Because yes.”
“Nicol, why are you running through the house yelling?”
“¡Porque sí!”
“Why are you wearing your dress like a turtle?”
“Porque sí.”
“Why did you put marker on your fingernails?”
“Porque sí.”
“Why are you wearing winter gloves and a t-shirt to class?”
“Porque sí.”
“Why would I take you to el arroyo in a thunderstorm?”
“Porque sí.”
“Why would I let you watch a nature video if your chores aren’t done?”
“Porque sí.”
“Maribel, you have my speaker in your shirt??”
“Porque sí.”
Por Que: For What
Some things here are just because. Breakfasts have to be entirely sweet or entirely savory. We only have spoons to eat everything with (and four forks). Everyone has their own roll of toilet paper instead of sharing. It’s unimportant to question why the power and water go out. All laundry gets scrubbed to death by a brush, dirt or no dirt. School only goes till noon, and a fifth of it is recess. Every language assignment is copying: letters, sounds, words, sentences. The entire lawn is mowed with a weed eater. Fresh veggies are delivered every other week, so we ration accordingly. Oranges are eaten by peeling, halving, and sucking out the juice. Phone service is bought ten days at a time in cash. Every volunteer takes turns preaching for vespers, Sabbath, or AYA every week. Juegos sociales are from 2:00-6:00 every Sunday, but the kids never want to play. The Lilas burn egg cartons in the middle of the house for mosquito-repelling (and fresh-air-repelling) smoke. The kids know the numbers of their favorite songs in the hymnal by heart (and wonder why I don’t). All just because.
Just Because
There are random things I’m coming to observe and love. There is no reason why they stick out to me, but sometimes my mind makes a note of what it will remember forever. Just because.
I love the sound of rain on the tin roof of Las Lilas. I especially love rain early in the morning because it means that the day will be a cool one. More than that, there is a high probability that school will be called off for the day “because the classrooms flood.” This week at breakfast we all sat around the outdoor kitchen table listening to the thunder, oohing and ahhing at the wind, and being misted by the drops leaking through the thatch roof. We watched my phone for a WhatsApp from Zoe, the head teacher, saying, “Vamos a suspender clases,” to which we rejoice like I did for a snow day growing up: “¡No hay clases!”
Something I realized this week: I identify these girls on their faces, quirks, and personalities, not their clothing style. Indeed, when they don’t have but five outfits to their name, it’s only natural to look past the outside. Their uniqueness comes solely from within. Inner beauty and natural beauty take the forefront.
Every day, my pant pocket bulges with an eraser for my class to use, since theirs are long lost. “Teacher ¿me presta su goma?” forever rings through the room. And when I bring my speaker to class, there is always the sound of “El Arca de Noé” playing at full volume on repeat as they work.
The weaver birds outside my window aren't making their baskets underwater, but their lovely, loud wakeup songs every morning sound like they are immersed in an invisible sea. The sound of crickets every night is accompanied by the light of hundreds of fireflies — I even had a lightning bug in my shower the other night!
I got a WhatsApp notification from Ma-moms (my grandma): I opened it to find another letter she’d handwritten and sent photos of, and I smiled. While I can’t get mail here, this is the sweetest thing that makes my day every time. And every Sabbath morning I open a letter from my mom, looking at the pictures, encouragement, and stickers it holds.
Hermano Juan’s recorder always rings out in church loud, clear, and in two other keys besides the one the hymns are in. Every worship is guaranteed a beautifully humorous element, also known as the Los Leones house parent wholeheartedly worshipping in his own way. A true icon.
I was talking to the other SMs on our day off and mid-conversation used the phrase, “So that signifies…” I immediately stopped and laughed at myself. Never would I say “signify” in a sentence, but since I say “significa” so often in Spanish, my English is following suit.
The sound of country music is the new sound of home and familiarity, which is also funny to me because I don’t listen to country music at home! Since Zoro and Carlo do, however, they’ve projected the nostalgia onto us. In the future these iconicly American songs will take me back to Bolivia!
The feeling of doing a muscle-up to get into my top bunk while wiggling under the mosquito net feels almost like coming home at the end of a long day. I might can feel the boards beneath my mattress, but it is such a peaceful thing to escape mosquitoes, to lie down, and to have a fuzzy blanket. (Sometimes, though, I do feel like the tiny little no-see-ems that are everywhere have broken into my fortress and are crawling on my arms, but that also could be a phantom sensation.)
The scents of chalky hands, burning leaves, tea tree oil, bug spray, raw garlic on my girls’ breath, B&BW pumpkin hand sanitizer, and limón-scented Patito dish/laundry soap are now the smell of familiarity. These are linked inseparably to Bolivia, as are so many other sensations of life here.
Because No
We SMs get together Friday nights after the little kids are tucked in bed. Sitting around the table in Los Gringos, we get to have worship and talk about our week. Someone — usually Treson — comes up with a personal, thought-provoking question to steer our discussion. Friday’s was, “How have you failed? And what are you learning to do about it?”
I wish I could say that I was always the pouring-out, giving-all, forever-enthused house parent that I aspire to be. But I’m not. Sometimes I just say no, “Porque no.”
Laying in bed Thursday night I realized I’d not said goodnight to anyone or prayed with my girls. An actual battle in my brain ensued, and my fatigue won, so I rolled over and went to sleep. Other times this week when my girls have asked for things, be it new pencils or wearing my clothes, I’ve either done so begrudgingly or flat-out refused, “Porque no.”
I’m failing some days to overcome my selfishness or my own fatigue. I’m needing to establish boundaries for myself so that I get rest and also give more. Carlo summarized what I’ll be thinking about going forward, when the honeymoon phase seems almost over: “It matters most when it’s the hardest.”
Because Yes
Wednesday morning while I slept off a stomach bug and chest cold, campus was transformed. School was cancelled to do a rapid cleanup of the grounds, buildings, and kids. Los Leones marched one by one past my house with fresh haircuts, and everyone got in their blue uniform polos (otherwise only worn Monday mornings). Each house had the best behaved kids who were cooking snacks or doing typical art projects as the afternoon progressed. Melissa had a stroke of genius and invited the local TV station to run a segment on Familia Feliz, which would thus give us positive press a week before the government inspection! That was a “yes” moment, and also evidence of yet another week gone by without being normal.
Last Sabbath the entirety of Familia Feliz loaded into the bed of the big truck, which is finally back from being repaired in Santa Cruz. We drove to La Sunta, a nearby river, and spent the entire afternoon throwing kids into the water then throwing mud. I don’t recommend the flavor, but said river clay works well as ammo! “This is great for Sabbath afternoon!” I told Melissa as we ended worship, where we sat in a circle in the water. “We do it all the time just because!” she responded.
I was reading the story of the Woman at the Well Friday morning and was struck by how her testimony is what brought people to come to Jesus. John makes a note of how the townspeople told her that they believed not because of her, but because they went to hear Him for themselves. And that resonated with me, especially this week. A former Bolivia SM has been sharing my blog with family, friends, and even in a presentation and has given my number to people interested in talking. My experience this week has been so heartwarming and encouraging and I feel like I’m overflowing. At the end of the day, I realize that all I can do is share my testimony, but people will come to Jesus and experience Him for themselves.
For the One
The biggest “porque sí” is my being here. Why am I? The song “For the One” beautifully states the prayer forming in my heart this year:
“Let me be filled with kindness
and compassion for the one,
The one whom You love
and gave Your Son.
For humanity, increase my love.
Help me to love with open arms
Help me to love with open arms
like You do,
A love that erases all the lines
and sees the truth.
Oh that when they look in my eyes
they would see You.
From the homeless to the famous
and in between,
'Cause You formed us,
You made us carefully;
'Cause in the end we're
all Your children.
So help me to love with open arms
like You do,
A love that erases all the lines
and sees the truth.
Oh that when they look in my eyes
Oh that when they look in my eyes
they would see You.
Even in just a smile they would
Even in just a smile they would
feel the Father’s love.
So let all my life tell of who You are
And the wonder of Your neverending love.
Oh, let all my life tell of
Oh, let all my life tell of
who You are,
That You're wonderful and
such a good Father.”
Love just because,
Katie-Jane
🤍
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“If you poke holes in my skin I’m quite certain that sunlight will spill out.” — Home, Whitney Hanson (photo: Treson) |
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“Teaching is like waking up everyday on an episode of Chopped where the ingredients are completely random, you're expected to do something amazing with whatever you're handed, while people watch and provide a running commentary, and occasionally something catches fire.” |
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Makin’ melodies in my heart “Knee deep in the water somewhere…” |
(photo: Treson)
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Sweet Gaishel not following the others to dangerously high branches |
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Mariana, Maribel, y Nicol ready for vespers |
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| Familia Feliz headed for a river day |
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| Mud wars in La Sunta on Sabbath (definitely where I got my parasite) |
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| La Toma día libre hike |
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| Elizabeth’s birthday surprise at Las Lilas |
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Lisiane’s birthday party the day after Elizabeth’s |