Bingo!

“Bingo!”

The SM group chat floods with the word bingo everyday.

And I love it!

Elizabeth, as afore mentioned, had the bingo brainchild. And the game continues. The daily rules of our blackout bingo are 1) see every SM; 2) exchange at least three words each; 3) text “bingo” to the group-chat. There are two ways to win in the end: 1) having the most times bingo-ing first; 2) having the most bingos in total.

While life here may not have a lot of seeing the other SMs long enough to converse, I love peeping at their lives in our group-chat which is beautifully full of daily snapshots. And in consideration of the bingo strategy, I’ve also been thinking about some of the firsts and mosts we’ve experienced lately.

Bingo First

Día del Padre on March 19 was the first time I’ve had to speak in celebration of fathers to a group of kids who A) don’t have fathers; B) had abusive fathers; C) have fathers who aren’t capable of caring for them. What do you do with that?? Especially when your task is to compare God to a Father. Standing in front of the school kids, I don’t think what I said was eloquent or sufficient, but I nonetheless pointed to the fathers affiliated with Familia Feliz (including three SM house dads and one 19-year-old dad of Marcos and Anthony) and praised their presence. Never has Matthew 23:9 made more sense to me: “Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.”‬‬

Baby José had his first birthday on March 18!! First birthdays are about as big a deal as quinceañeras, we learned. Who but Bolivians would send an party invitation with a lovely portrait photoshopped onto a galaxy background, surrounded by Winnie the Pooh characters, and copied and pasted into a carrot house? The 8:30 PM party most definitely commenced at 10:15, full of party favors and cakes, noise ricocheting around the Harding House as all of Familia Feliz sat inside. It made me so happy to see SMs like Maddy (who’ve literally raised him) — this party was for them.

The first time I celebrated a holiday over losing something was March 23: Día del Mar. This is Bolivia’s second-most important holiday, but it’s now my first-most favorite for the irony alone: it’s “Ocean Day.” Bolivia has no ocean. Nevertheless, great effort was put into constructing torches of water bottles cut in half, screwed atop sticks, decorated with papers the color of the Bolivian flag, candles glued inside. Said torches were ignited (some literally incinerated in entirety) the night before the holiday as the school kids marched and sang, “We will win back our ocean!” Why else would we need a naval base in Rurre? The ultimate brainwashing holiday. But it was so cute and so fun!

The school kids elected student officers for the first time on Friday. Yet another activity executed to send photos to the government! Lead by Zoro, campaign teams made posters, gave speeches, and then held their breath as kids marked which person’s picture they thought should win a popularity contest on ballots designed for illiterate children. Then everyone went to stand in la cancha to watch the box be opened and tally marks be placed on a whiteboard by their names. Decorum was nonexistent as kids fervently yelled noooo when someone other than their vote received said tally. Actual comedy. Please welcome Veronica Harding to the Bolivian White House! She’d better follow through with her promise to take the kids to the pool in town!

I got to choose floor tile for the first time this week! Melissa commissioned me to pick the tile for Las Lilas’ kitchen floor and countertops. I recommended that Esmeralda do it, since she’ll be here long-term, but Melissa said I’d be better suited since Esme has “lived with only dirt floors her whole life and was overwhelmed with the choice.” Emilianne and I surveyed the options — tile with pictures of tempting clusters of fruit, some depicting alluringly colorful pots and pans, and still others with dolphins at the beach (to go along with our flooded floors), stood out from the faux marbles and granites. We did, however, settle for a relievingly neutral white and gray design. SO excited to have a tile kitchen floor for the first time here!!!

Bingo Most

The most kids I’ve ever had in Las Lilas arrived last Thursday when two girls from Las Dalias moved over, bringing our number up to fifteen girls, two teachers, and Randy who works here. After hearing actual horror stories from Emilianne and Elizabeth, their “sociopath” and her picky eater little sister were moved into my house. I was terrified to return from my day off to find the girls who’d deliberately peed on their teachers in the shower, thrown screaming tantrums while wrapped around table legs, didn’t sleep at night without crying for fear of the dark, and who threatened to kill herself and Emilianne over her frustration with dyslexia. It sounded like actual hell to bring into my heaven. When I ever-so-hesitantly woke up eight-year-old Ticiane (“Chisi”) and six-year-old Dianara (“Jahnara”) with hugs and breakfast food I knew they’d eat (wasted half my egg ration to fry one for everyone), I began a day of physically feeling like I was holding my breath. But away from the bad influence of other difficult Dalias and helped by my oldest three, these two cuties are little angels. Praise God!

“Keep packin’ ‘em in!” was the classic line from Melissa in January, and it’s still holding true, even when Dalias have nineteen people and only one table with two benches. We did yet another swap with the Dalias this Friday, taking their two youngest girls. When I saw ten-year-old Johanna and four-year-old Azumi (goes by “Pinky”), I couldn’t believe they weren’t much younger, as they are tiny! But they both can read and write and speak with such eloquence it’s actually comedic!

The most awful thing is telling someone who loves you that they have to move out of your house. That’s what we had to do with Brandy (attached to Esmeralda) and Jazmín (my literal shadow) to make room for the littles. Amongst many tears and fighting, we explained to our pettiest fighter and biggest whiner that they were leaving not because of problems they caused but because they were of the middle school age range Melissa wants in the Dalias and didn’t have little siblings like mine their age. They weren’t tiny; they weren’t old; they weren’t related. So they feel they weren’t wanted. That is the worst. Brandy still has permission to come to my room for a spritz of my perfume to start the day; Jazmín will still get kisses. Change is the nature of the beast named Familia Feliz.

The most-played game in Las Lilas this week was musical chairs Bible trivia. After I introduced the concept to Saturday night vespers, Las Lilas have been obsessed! Grabbing my speaker and dragging varying types and sizes of chairs into the front yard, we’ll go round and round, cat fight for a seat, and the loser gets to respond to a question I make up; if they win they choose someone to answer another at risk of losing their seat; if they lose, they’re eliminated. The grand prizes this week we’re funky-shaped erasers. A prize coveted the most.

The most yelling I do during the week is in Escuela Sabática, sacreligiously enough. When Dara decides not to show up because she’s tired, Emilianne and I get to be crowd control and music, story, and activity providers for thirty kids between the ages of seven and nine. Thrilling for the vocal cords. At least in my house I only have to yell over fifteen! Sabbath rest is a concept reserved for life in the United States of America.

The most clothing I’ve worn in a long time was this week, as the temperature in the rain got down to 77 degrees — enough to warrant sweatpants and a flannel or long sleeves and a long skirt for vespers! Yes. We are the kids in chompas in what we once considered shorts and t-shirts weather.

The most time I’ve gone without having lice (while here) ended this week: my three-month streak finished as my head was just a bit too itchy and I furiously ran a comb through my humidity-loving curls to A) convert myself into a dandelion; B) find about six little parasites. *sigh*

The most water to ever cover my floor (which has always been an issue) commenced with the last rain. Thanks to leaky gutters in my back porch/kitchen, and thanks to the newly-constructed walls enclosing said space, an inch of standing water has nowhere to go! If it does get swept out the side, it’s dumped into our “castle moat”: a ditch from where we started to fix the plumbing and never finished. If it fills that up, it runs into the yard, which we will then wade through to hang up our laundry to half-dry before the next rain. The mold we were all so forewarned about by last year’s SMs has finally set in.

The most construction has happened on campus in the past three months! Los Leones have a newly expanded outdoor kitchen with four new bathrooms! Las Lilas have started to close in our kitchen and turn it into a real cooking and living space! Both houses are also getting plumbing issues resolved. The front gate and wall are going up at a surprisingly rapid pace, cement pillars now in place!

And some of the most concerning news was just lifted up in prayer by Melissa: our fundraising budget just isn’t being met and now that the number of kids on campus has doubled, we’re struggling to have funds for groceries. We had a $20,000 backup fund which has now been dipped into so much that only $5,000 remains. “We’re ok for now,” Melissa assured me, “But we’re scheduled to be in trouble just as you SMs leave.” This needs the most prayer and support.

See Everyone

Part of Bingoing is to see everyone. Sadly, swinging by in a moment of purposefully-created free time really doesn’t give much opportunity to see everyone. To know how they’re doing. To step into their lives and glimpse their own personal facet of this chaos.

I love getting to see the guys living right across the field from my front door! I love that I sit on my front bench and can see through the open door of the Dalias and spot Elizabeth or Emilianne sitting at the end of their table, maybe even get a wave when I’m at my laundry sink. Even a glimpse of a friend is soul food.

The girls who aren’t house parents help the guys fix lunch on Sabbaths, giving them the community that carries us through. Last Sabbath, Elizabeth, Emilianne, and I decided we’d had enough of feeling like the isolated house parents we are (a moment of commiseration for what I felt last semester); we tag-teamed tacos and had a combined-house lunch! While most of the afternoon was us sitting in sheer exhaustion with rather sad-flowing conversation, we were together. And we saw each other. That’s a bingo.

Weighing on My Mind

I woke up at 4:30 one morning from a terrible dream about my girls. As I laid in bed crying, I realized that it is a morbid possibility that they won’t be in Heaven someday like I talk about. “Don’t settle for anything less than souls saved,” the words of Pastor Bradshaw’s dedication sermon ricocheted around my brain as I realized settling was exactly what I’ve done. I’d thought my example of living day-to-day was enough for these kids, but I need to make sure they know.

So that’s how I started praying with each house everyday. I’ve already learned more about the issues and blessings of people I’ve lived right next to than I have all year! If nothing else, it’s another form of connection.

On my day off, I didn’t pray with the other houses like usual. In my laziness, I thought one day wouldn’t matter. But as I laid dissociating in my hammock at Hotel Takana, Sierra sent, “@⁨Katie-Jane,⁩ Emi is quite disturbed that you didn’t pray with her this morning,” and I was so sad. Los Leones got a voice message prayer that afternoon. At least someone looks forward to a prayer, maybe even counts on it.

While I have been accused of making Bingo spiritual, Hermana Emi and Melissa would disagree, as I see them before other SMs. But maybe I should shoot for a spiritual game of bingo: make it a goal to pray for all the people in my life, to intentionally seek out spiritual conversation, to make it a habit of lifting people up so that they’re as comfortable as Melissa is with shouting a prayer request across the field when she sees me. That’s been on my mind, too.

The song “Untitled Hymn (Give Me Jesus)” was rewritten by Jordan Putt, and these lyrics have become my new favorite that Soledad asks why I listen to in repeat:

In the morning when I rise
Get out of bed and rub my eyes,

I wonder how I'm gonna make it through the day

Because the weeks go by like seconds
But the days go by like months.
Before I get a chance to breathe,
A new one has begun.
Won't you soothe my troubled mind
So I can get some rest?
'Cause I've given up pretending

that I'm the one who knows what’s best.
You said come to me with your burdens,

if you're weary I will love you.
And it's been weighing on my mind,

it's been weighing on my mind.

Dark midnight was my cry
I feel empty, don't know why.
Won't you save me from the things
I think I need?
'Cause I'm just trying to make it through
With my sanity intact
‘Cause I've got front row tickets
But it feels like I'm sitting in the back.
Won't you soothe my troubled mind
So l can get some rest?
'Cause I've given up pretending I'm
the one who knows what’s best.
You said come to me with your burdens,

if you're weary I will love you.
And it's been weighing on my mind,

it's been weighing on my mind.

Just about the break of day
I've got nothing more to say
'Cause the lies I tell myself are wearing thin.
Because I'm nothing if not selfish
And I show no restraint
When I know I'm chief of sinners
But still I call myself a saint.
Won't you soothe my troubled mind
So l can get some rest?
'Cause I've given up pretending

I'm the one who knows what’s best.
You said come to me with your burdens,

if you're weary I will love you.
And it's been weighing on my mind,

it's been weighing on my mind.

Oh, and when I come to die

Don't be sorry, please don't cry
Because I've killed myself a thousand times before.
To be reborn a better man, I will die by my own hand
And I will crucify my mind to be at peace.
Won't you soothe my troubled mind
So I can get some rest?
'Cause I've given up pretending

I'm the one who knows what’s best.
You said come to me with your burdens,

if you're weary I will love you,
And it's been weighing on my mind,
it's been weighing on my mind.

Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus.

Love from the weight and the game,

Katie-Jane

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